Enough.
When is enough?
That forced splintering of your soul when someone isolates you enough from your friends who are worried
That your self worth is inexplicably tied to how they treat you
When you are alone the cause for their rage, their sadness, or their joy
Is it the possession of your body
Your actions with others
The words you say they mold in attack
Against you
It’s the jealousy
That yellow-green crayon that scribbles outside the lines
Blurring an image to what is actually happening
Joy being tainted from a spur in the moment joke
A once happy moment bittersweet forever more
Maybe it’s the neglect
The once bright shining sun turned away behind gray clouds muting the sky
Disinterest wounds deeper than hatred
At least that red-hot emotion can be understood
The counterbalance to passion
Rather than the cold clinical nature of apathy
The one that twists the knife of it all is the manipulation
An old friend from way back that after years of not seeing one another
Goes right back to how it used to be in an instant
Like time didn’t matter
The gut punch of something said or done
Now an accusation
Now a punishment against you
Now the displacement of all the things they did
Instead
You’re selfish, you know.
It’s enough when you have nothing left to give
When you can say in all certainty
I did everything I could
I gave all the money I could
A new credit card for those with no credit
0% APR, no interest for 12 months!
I gave all the emotional currency I could
The dollar was 5 to 1.
An exchange rate out of this world, but showing how much
They really valued your sweat and work
Free therapy for 13 years
Free therapy for 1 year, a new patient with loads to unpack
Free therapy for 25 years
A six year old with a psych degree is a sure sight to see
Know what you have to give.
Know what your limits are.
Know when enough is enough is enough.